After Our meeting with the Inner Child of My Mother and seeing the Inner Children of All of My Mothers; My Little Girl Self said, "Vulnerability is a Practice." After a time of silence; She asked, "Do you want to keep going? Do you truly want to embrace Me; Love Me; and Be True to Me no matter what?" Seeing the intensity in her eyes and the way She held herself; I whispered, "Yes, I do."
To show Her that I am committed to Our Healing; I asked if I could hug Her. She answered by relaxing Her shoulders and exhaling. I gently brought Her to Me; rocking Her as a Little Baby.
So, I started committed to consciously "practice". As soon as I agreed to "practice" vulnerability; experiences came flooding in. . .only these were not new experiences. These were old experiences; or rather, old emotions attached to experiences.I felt Myself panic. I wasn't prepared; yet, in the midst of the emotion filled memories; I "saw" the old thoughts; but I wasn't "believing" them as I had before. Because She is attuned to My Higher Self; She knew exactly what to do. She guided Me to listen to audio messages that I'd been skeptical of in the past. Now, I was/am "open".
Everything that I listen to supports My innermost thoughts. Of course, She knew this; She is Me. As I listen and agree in My Soul with What I am hearing; She moves closer to Me. More and More, I feel Her snuggled inside My Heart. I feel Her anxiety when an experience comes up with the full blown emotions. Will I return to My habit of turning on Her?
I must admit, my ego mind is loud. The old emotions are intense! I am scrambling for relief. I have more experience with the ego; more importantly, SHE has more experience with my ego. She is the one Who holds the pain. So unsure about what else to do, I whisper, "I love You." My ego is saying loudly, "Remember what happened before? Protect yourself. . ." Holding Us, I gently rock and continue to soothe Her with loving sounds; again, I repeat "I love You. I adore You. I am here for You, Always." As I Love "on" Her I feel My chakras relax; letting Me know that She believes Me.
Somewhat amazed that My whispers were effective during the intense emotions; I asked, "What happened?" She gave Me a "knowing" look that I remember from My childhood; and said, "Oh, I forgot to tell You, all of the work that You've been doing over the past 5 years. . .Well, You know how You THOUGHT that it would get rid of Your being "so sensitive"? Well, the work brought You here; to the Practice. You were created for Now. Your "sensitivity" is Our Strength." Knowing exactly what She is telling Me; I am actually relieved to be here. I am actually relieved to be In the Place that I thought would mean that I'd lost My Mind!
Reclaiming Our Soul
When I said that I was actually "relieved" to be the Place I thought would mean that I'd lost My Mind; She looked at Me and said, "Now, We're on the Journey." She's explaining to Me that losing My Mind isn't what I feared; it's not Mental Illness. It's actually a Journey of Healing that heals all that come into contact with Me; as long as I am conscious.
We are on the Journey of My Soul. We are on a Journey to "reclaim" the pieces of My Soul that seemingly died whenever I told Myself (and Her) that something was "wrong" with Her. As She explained the Journey to Me; I searched Her face for the pain of a few weeks ago. Knowing that I was looking for the pain; She said, "You started the Journey when You listened to Me. Before. . .when You told people that You were doing "inner child work"; You weren't. You were trying to quiet Me. I know that You thought that positive affirmations would get rid of the pain that I held; but as you can see. . .they don't. They only work when You allow Me to speak to You when I am in pain." She went on to say, "When You allow Me to speak to You; and You love Me through the old pain; You give Me back the piece(s) of My Soul; OUR Soul that was damaged." Before I can ask more questions, She says, "Enough for today. No more talking; You have practice."